This post is all over the place

Should I be worried that the top/only search term that is leading people to my blog is, “i have been trying to call you unsuccessfully.” Creepy. Also, that would be because I don’t want to talk to bill collectors. Thanks.

I had all these fun post ideas about how I am cheaply decorating our apartment, but then we did our budget and discovered we have no wiggle room at all, so “cheap” is currently out of my price range. Instead, I am going with free. I have big plans for the kitchen that may never materialize. In the mean time, I did some reorganizing. I even thought about showing you the pictures, but I can think of few things more boring than looking at other people’s cabinets go from messy to orderly. If I wouldn’t want to read it, I can see no reason to share it.

I’ve had a low-grade headache for over a week now. It’s at its worst in the mornings, and today I finally figured out why: I’m tensing my jaw all night. I used to grind my teeth as a kid but haven’t in many years. I’m not sure if that’s what’s going on now, but I can tell I’m thoroughly clenched all night long. I may have to buy a mouth guard. Can I find one on Freecycle?

On a run this weekend, I put my iPod on the Trampled By Turtles Pandora station. An Avett Brothers song came on, and I know this makes me about three years late to the party, but it was the first time I heard that, and I loved the song.

“Always remember, there is nothing worth sharing / Like the love that let us share our name.”

The lyric actually made me cry a little bit. It was such a beautiful thought — so simple, and yet so meaningful. I went back home and told my husband how much I love him. Because I do. Every day we fight for each other. I have always felt ambivalent about the whole “relationships are hard” versus “true love is easy” thing. On the one hand, if you are right for each other and happy, it shouldn’t feel like work. But at the same time, making a marriage last isn’t a cakewalk, and anyone who says it is has likely never cohabitated with anyone. So with that in mind, one of the things I am most thankful for in my marriage is that we never stop fighting to keep us together. We never talk about our squabbles as possibly leading to our marriage ending. They are just bumps in the road that must be overcome. We both have fiery temperaments and passionate natures, so disagreements are inevitable. I love knowing that, pretty much no matter what — barring one of us trying to kill the other one — our relationship is solid and that, when the dust clears, we will always still have each other.

Marriage is hard. Love is easy. I’m glad that both these things are true.

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